turkey-korvid:

This fictional man has a dick TO YOU. i know he has a pussy

(via feyburner)

evilwizard:

chromegnomes:

evilwizard:

chromegnomes:

evilwizard:

*sidles up to you at the bar* would you like to hear my wise aphorism

only if it’s actually wise. the last guy who asked me this had a pretty foolish aphorism tbh

oh… uhuh… *really should have prepared this ahead of time* never ignore… the melody of time… when your shoe’s untied?

*considers this aphorism sagely, sipping my horrible and bitter potion*

yes. there is wisdom in this. he whose shoes are untied must carefully mind the rhythm of his steps. bartender, another Wretched Potion, for my comrade here

*to self* holy shit… my aphorism… it’s wise!

(via feyburner)

uvradical:

foxgirlsounds:

spandexinspace:

I need everyone to know that the ship Götheborg, the world’s largest ocean-going wooden sailing ship, answered a distress call the other day.

Imagine waiting for the coast guard or whatever to show up and instead a replica of 18th century merchant ship pulls up and tows you to the coast.

pov: you’ve been transported to the 17th century

#in the article it says that the sailboat sailors were concerned because they could not be towed quickly because of the kind of boat#so they asked Götheborg what type of ship they were and warned that they would not be able to go above a certain speed#and götheborg went ’ we are also a sailboat. 50 meters length. no worries :) ’#and the poor sailboat sailors were just like ’ That’s not possible. they have to be messing with us’ and then the ship Rolled Up (via bunjywunjy)

(via feyburner)

andmaybegayer:

beifongkendo:

“Glimpsing at the seabed through the water and the complexity of the light within, at a soothing southern sea.” By Shigeko Inoue (2002).

Born in 1945, Inoue studied traditional Japanese and Italian woodblock printing. Her work focuses on nature, transparency and the movement of water.

(via feyburner)

swarnpert:

this is 10% man
20% door
15% concentrated power of hand
5% hook
50% car
and 100% reason to remember the door 

(via feyburner)

furryfag:

imsomeguy1:

furryfag:

i thought the “AND THE CROWD GOES HOME” style jokes were very funny but unfortunately my autistic ass has now become obsessed with just spamming these emojis on everything i say for dramatic effect to an obnoxious level LOOK AT THESE GUYS ☝️‼️💯💪☝️💥‼️🔥💯💪‼️💯☝️☝️☝️☝️

but why there is no reason to do that 😀😁😃😄🙃😁😀😄😃🙃😄🙃😁😃😁😃😁😃😁😃😁😀😁😀🙃😄😀😁😃😁😃😄😃😉😀😉🙃😃😃😄🙃😄😀😄🙃😄😀😄🙃😄😃😄🙃😄😀😁🙃😄😀😁🙃😄😀😃🙂😁🙂😄🙃😄😃😄😀😄🙃😄🙃😁😀😄🙃😄😀😄😃😄🙂😁😃😄🙃😄😀😄😃😃🙂😁🙃😄😀😄🙃😄🙃😄😀😄🙂😄🙃😄😀😀😄🙃😄🙂😃😃🙃😄😀😃😗😄😀🙃😗😀🙃😀🙃😀🙃😀😄🙂😄🙃😃😀🙃😃😄😀🙃😀🙃😀😄😃🙃😀😁😃🙃😁😀😄🙃😁😃😁😀🙃🦍😄🙃😄😀😄😃😄😀😄🙂😄🙃😄😃😁😀🙃😄😃😄😃😁😃😄😃😄😀🙃😄🙃😄😃😄🙃😄

(via feyburner)

lesbianmizuki:

irenigg:

please survive

OP being deactivated is like a dying war general sending out her one final message to her loyal battalion before succumbing to her numerous wounds

(via qqtahng)

r0semultiverse:

Like music to my ears

(via edenlikethegardenduh)

manywinged:

i love the concept of divorce lawyers. the only things in the world that have the power to undo your marriage are death itself or a special little boy with a law degree.